Alcoholocaust
by soul punisher
Summary: The Cutie Mark Crusaders discover the power of simple liquids.


**I know, I know. This one took too long to post up and I'm sorry for that. It should've been up last week. Forgive me. I'm just glad it's finally up! **

**A big thanks to Dragon Aeon for proofreading!**

**This one ended up being a little longer than I thought it would be, but you guys don't mind do you? Enjoy.**

**/**

She stared at the glass bottle, placed on the highest shelf, for what seemed like hours now. She always knew it was there, prized and cherished more than any other inanimate object in the building. "But why?" her big green eyes questioned the glass.

"Rarity?" she called for her sister.

"Hmm?" the older unicorn unconsciously responded while stitching another fancy dress across the room. "Ooh~! This will go perfectly with that…"

"Sis!"

"Oh yes deary?" Rarity took off her glasses and turned around to her younger sibling, giving her full attention. "What's the matter?"

Sweetie Belle pointed to the bottle, "What is that?"

Rarity looked over to an expensive, decorative, special concentrated vodka bottle, directly imported from Stalliongrad. "That is…"

She thought about making an excuse, telling her it was some magic water to not be touch or something like that. But she thought again. Her sister was a growing filly, and would discover the truth sooner or later. The larger unicorn sighed and looked back over Sweetie Belle.

"It's called vodka. And it's not for you."

There was never only one question from Sweetie Belle, "Vodca? Why is it always up on the high shelf? Why do you never use it? Why is it not for me? Is it for you? Is it for Fluttershy? Can you show me-"

"Sweetie Belle, please!" her voice rang throughout the boutique.

The filly crouched in fear from the sudden boom.

Rarity caught herself and quickly calmed her tone as she had not meant to yell at her in the first place. "It's for the big ponies only."

"…why?"

"Because that's the law. You'll go to jail."

Sweetie Belle thought for a moment. Going to jail for drinking because of age? Absurd!

"Why?"

"Because…" Again, the elder thought carefully, "…it makes you do… things you would not normally do." Then she went into full-out-lecture mode. "Bad things like making you dizzy, and tired, and light-weight, and dumb. Do not ever drink it …"

The younger unicorn just blankly stared at Rarity, even after she finished talking. There was a strange pause between the sisters. "Do you understand?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded a lie.

"Good! Now be a dear and wash up for dinner…"

/

The Table was elegantly set between lit velvet candles, gold-trimmed plates, and top quality silverware. Rarity's meal was a light vinaigrette salad with a few pieces of seasonal grass and white wine, where Sweetie Belle's was one of macaroni and cheese and a glass of sparkling water. The smaller unicorn had been staring at her sibling's beverage throughout the entire meal, never truly noticing it before.

"So how are your grades at school Sweetie? Are you having any trouble hmm?"

Her green eyes kept on the wine glass, missing her question.

"Sweetie Belle?"

"Oh! Um… school is good… and stuff…" she moved her eyes down to her half-eaten dinner and began stirring the yellow food with her fork.

"Is there something on your mind dear? You can talk to your big sister Rarity about anything."

The filly looked up to her sister and pointed to her drink. "Is that the vodca you showed me earlier? Because it doesn't look like my water."

Rarity narrowed her eyes a bit. "No, it's not vodka. It-"

"Oh! Is it juice! Can I have some?"

"No, you cannot."

"But Rarity!" She began 'complaining', "I don't want sparkling water. I want juice but you never get me any at the store because it's bad for me because it has fats and stuff in it or whatever but I'll only have a little! Please? Please? Please?" The cute eyes came.

"No." She replied sternly while reinstating her mindset with the previous liquor, "This is not juice. This is wine."

"Whine?"

"Yes, and as I have told you before, it also is for big ponies."

"…can-"

"Absolutely not."

"But you don't even know what I was going to say!"

"Yes I do and the answer is no, end of discussion! Now eat up," Rarity motioned her sister to consume, "we wouldn't want your food to go cold now do we?"

The young filly sighed and looked back at her plate. "…No…"

The rest of dinner was a quiet on Sweetie Belle's part, but was normal in every other aspect. Once both meals were finished, Rarity went to cleaning the dishes as Sweetie Belle was sent to bed. She laid in bed restless; her thoughts kept her up. After some time, the young filly sat up on her bed, her forelegs placed on the cold window. Winter had struck hard this year, as there was not one day without snow since the start of the season.

"Vodca…whine…" she told herself. It was the idea of decadence from a simple liquid that kept her awake. It just made no sense.

"…maybe… if I tried some- no!" She caught herself. She couldn't do that, especially after how her sister reacted to the thought of alcohol. She stayed on top of her bed for a while longer until she heard hoofsteps coming towards her door. The filly gasped, snuggled under her blanket, closed her eyes, and feigned slumber. She even added a fake snore as her elder entered the room. Rarity silently walked over and gently placed a soft kiss on her sister's forehead.

"I did not mean to yell at you." She whispered as she quietly exited the room.

/

Sweetie Belle kept her eyes fixed on nothing, lost in thought. Staring at nothing was not something she usually did, but it was a healthier choice than listening to her teacher. Boredom filled the classroom as Cheerilee was practically prancing around the room from the seething excitement of the day's new lecture: Cutie marks.

"…blahblahblahcutiemarkblahblah…_blah_…"

The rest of the class was suffering a drowsy fate as a number of students were gradually closing their eyes in response to the daily topic. Despite her wakefulness, Sweetie Belle continued to ponder about her sister's words about alcohol. _"Makes you do bad things…like makes you tired, dizzy, and light-weight… but how? Maybe it comes from the Everfree Forest. Maybe that Zecora that Applebloom sometimes talks about makes it. But that still doesn't answer-"_

"Sweetie Belle!" Cheerilee caught her attention. "Do you know the answer?"

"Uh…" Sweetie Belle quickly scanned the classroom for any help to her unfortunate predicament. She saw Scootaloo looking at her with much intent, her lips mouthing "_four!_"

"…four!"

"Four?" The teacher dully stared at her. "That's your answer? The special meaning behind a pony's cutie resembles 'four'?"

A few students, including Applebloom, giggled to her response. Scootaloo, however, was laughing wildly. Sweetie Belle blushed furiously as she glared at the traitor.

Cheerilee sighed as she returned behind her own desk, "Class, I know it is almost time to go, but you have to pay attention! Now as you all know, tomorrow is Friday and I know you've all worked very hard this past week, so instead of homework, I am assigning a show and tell presentation then. Bring something that has some special value to you and share it with the rest of us."

"Oh oh! Can we bring our moms and dads to watch?" Twist asked.

"Of course you can. You can bring your brothers and sisters too." Cheerilee replied.

The bell rang, releasing all the students from the classroom. The Cutie Mark Crusaders swiftly joined together outside the building, embracing the afternoon snow.

"I can't believe you actually said it!" the orange filly continued to laugh.

The small unicorn glared at the pegasus, "That wasn't funny! Apologize!"

"Oh alright! I'm… sorry…" she started, "…that I didn't tell you five! Bwahaha!"

Sweetie rolled her eyes. Applebloom looked to the laughing pegasus, "So what'cha gonna bring fer show n' tell tomorra?"

Scootaloo stopped laughing. "Well I'm obviously going to bring the best pony in all of Ponyville! Rainbow Dash!"

"…Really?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Uh…no." her ears flopped down, but quickly came back up, "But I have the next best thing, Pictures! I have plenty pictures of just Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash flying, Rainbow Dash laughing, Rainbow Dash eating, Rainbow Dash sleeping, and even Rainbow Dash in the shower! I always know where she is so I can watch and take pictures of her…and…"

"…"

"…uh…hehe… s-so what about you Applebloom?" Scootaloo flushed as she tried to shift the attention elsewhere.

"I'mma bring mah sister's hat. It's the best hat in all o Esquestria!"

Sweetie Belle raised a brow to her earth pony friend. "Isn't that what you brought to the last show and tell?"

"Well yea but-"

"You can't bring the same thing twice in a row." The unicorn sternly spoke, "It's frowned upon."

Although Applebloom was not entirely sure what she had meant by that, she took her word for it. "If ya say so… but what 'bout you then Sweetie Belle? What ya gonna bring?"

"I'm not sure what to bring."

"Oh c'mon! I'm sure ya have somethin' on yer mind!" Applebloom poked the pondering unicorn.

"Well…there is one thing that has been bothering me all day." Scootaloo and Applebloom drew close to their friend. "I saw my sister drink some special juice the other day, so I was thinking maybe I could bring that."

"Special juice?" Scootaloo grew excitedly curious, "Is it the same as orange juice? Oh my gosh I love orange juice! Lemme have some too!"

Applebloom turned to the pegusas with insipidity, "Scootaloo, she said _special _juice. There's only one _special_ juice in all o' equestria!"

"What is it?" she looked back at the farm-filly.

"Apple juice! Duh!"

Scootaloo frowned. "No, Orange juice is."

"No, Apple juice."

"Orange juice!"

"Apple Juice!"

"Orange!"

"Apple!"

"Stop!" Sweetie Belle breathed out into the cold. The other two silenced themselves and gave the unicorn their full attention. "It's not Apple juice or Orange juice. It's called whine."

"Whine?" They both replied in unison.

"Yeah. But Rarity told me we are not supposed to drink it because it makes you dizzy and light-weight and tired, and-"

"Wait," Scootaloo spoke up once again, "It makes you 'light-weight'? Light-weight means not heavy, and not heavy means easier flying, which means- Sweetie Belle!" the pegasus' eyes doubled in size as she jumped on her friend, "We need to get that juice!"

"B-but Rarity said-"

"This could be the answer to all my flying problems! And my cutie mark! And maybe your cutie marks will appear too!" Scootaloo stood on top of the white unicorn whose back was practically engulfed by the snow.

"She yelled at me yesterday because I just _looked_ at it! I don't think she will let us _drink_ it."

"But this is important! Am I right Applebloom?"

Applebloom stayed quiet for a moment before responding. "Ya said light-weight, tired n' dizzy? That sounds an awful lot like mah sister's special cider. Maybe if we go ta her instead, she can tell us more 'bout it, and maybe she'll let us have some!"

Scootaloo bounced back to Applebloom's side with a smile showing all her overwhelming joy. And her teeth. "Yeah! Let's go!"

"Ohh..." Sweetie Belle grumbled as she pulled herself up from the snow. She knew this was going to be a bad idea.

/

She was not happy.

She hated being sick. She hated being in bed all day. She hated being unable to farm work.

Applejack rolled over to her other side, pulling the sheets with her. The orange pony now faced an upstanding mirror on a nearby nightstand. She saw a complete mess; mane tangled, greasy and un-groomed, eyes saggy, bloodshot and restless, breath horrid and heavy, face plush and red. She felt terrible. The earth pony groaned as she pulled her pillow over her head, but quick removed it as she heard a gentle Granny Smith walk in with a tray, holding a bowl of steaming soup.

"Feelin' any better sugercube?" the elder made space before placing the tray down on the nightstand.

"A mite better Granny." Her congested voice lied, "Heck ah'm a be up n' at 'em apple trees before-"

"No you ain't." She scolded Applejack, "Ain't no way ah'm havin' mah kin gettin' sick twice! It's freezin' out there, and ya ain't budgin' ya hear?"

"Y-yes Granny." She obeyed as she sniffed.

Granny Smith smiled and put a hoof to Applejack's forehead. After a few seconds, she took her hoof back and began a retreat from the room. "Now have at that soup. It'll fix ya up in a jiffy. Holler if ya need anythin'."

"Yes Granny." The farm pony voiced as she was left alone once again. She immediately slugged further under the bed sheets. To be exhausted from no work just angered her beyond words. Applejack knew she had to get better though, and it would start with a spoonful of warm soup. She took a spoon, filled it, and brought it close to her mouth before a knock sounded from her door. A confused frown came on her face as she placed the silverware back in the bowl.

"C'mon in." Applejack called while mucus began dripping down her nostrils.

Three little ponies walked into the room, two smiling, one not. Applejack quickly snorted up her drooping snot and gave a weak smile. "Well if it ain't the crusaders. What business ya'll attendin' today?"

Applebloom hopped onto her sister's side. "Hey Applejack…" her voice trailed from happy to worried, "…ya don't look so good."

"Pfft. Just the sniffles."

"Ya look real sick-"

"Nah it ain't nothin', *cough* ain't nothin' ta worry bout."

The younger sister gloomed at Applejack's position. "That's… good ta hear." She then looked to Scootaloo, then back to Applejack, then back to Scootaloo. The young yellow filly jumped from the bed and leaned over to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

"Ah don't think we should be botherin' her. She don't look well at all." She whispered to her comrades.

"But then how are we gonna get it? We still need it!" Scootaloo hardly whispered back.

"Ummm…"

"Well… what about your brother?" the orange pegasus threw out the thought.

"Ah guess we can ask him and see if he knows." Applebloom agreed. She then looked back to her recovering sister, "Okay sis, we're just gonna get goin'."

"Alright then. Stay outta trouble." Applejack warned the fillies as they exited the room. Once outside Applejack's vicinity, the Cutie Mark Crusaders began their search for Big Macintosh, hoping he would have some insight on their objective.

/

"I'm not so sure about this. It's freezing outside and it's already dark. Sweet Apple Acres is a bit of a walk-"

"Calm down. I'll be fine. And stop treating me like a baby."

"You _are_ a baby, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if anything happens you. Can't you do this in the morning?"

"No." Spike sighed as he put on a fuzzy scarf Twilight scolded him to wear, not to mention ear-muffs, a fuzzy wool cap, a headband, two thermal shirts, a fur-lined sweater, thick water-proof boots, two pairs of gloves, and other winter clothing items. The purple mare was a mother figure to Spike, whether he liked it or not. "I promised my friend I would meet him at Sweet Apple Acres tonight."

He had spent the last hour convincing Twilight to let him go outside, and with much effort, succeeded. "…Fine." She slightly frowned, "But be back soon. It's dangerous to go out at night, especially in this weather and-"

"Twilight." He stopped her sentence, "I'll be fine."

Twilight's face lightened as she gave a weak smile. "Be safe."

He smiled and went for the door, opening up to a harsh temperature but calm snowfall. Before he closed the door out, he looked back to the purple pony, "And I know this is asking a lot, but can you at least try to relax?" With that, he left he unicorn repeating the word "relax" and marched through the snow. After a few seconds, he looked back to the library to see if Twilight had changed her mind and gone after him. He saw the door closed, but a worried mare looking out the window, smiling only when his gaze met hers. The dragon shook his head and looked back in his direction toward Sweet Apple Acres.

Although the snow was almost a foot high, grazing the dragon's chin, he showed no weakness to the cold. He even found himself punching the frozen water to maneuver at a quicker pace. The only delay for higher speed was his armor. Thanks to the layers of clothes, Spike found himself waddling more than walking. Heck, he even considered rolling to be faster. But he got over it, and within half an hour, he saw the farm-land in sight. Another ten minutes lead him to the front gates to greet Big Macintosh holding a large satchel.

However, the red stallion looked around and behind Spike with a hint of worry in his eyes. "Ya weren't followed were ya?"

"No, are you still uptight about all this?"

Macintosh looked down and gave a small smile, "So ah take mah precautions. So what?"

Spike nodded, "Right, right, I get it. Is it ready?"

"Eeyup." He spoke as they walked behind the orchards. His eyes peered down to his smaller friend once again. "Were ya playin' dress-up earlier?"

"Shut up." Spike flushed in embarrassment, "Twilight was flipping out the minute I told her I was going out. She wouldn't have me look out the window without dressing like a teddy bear."

"Ah see." Macintosh chuckled, "Did she give ya a kiss n a hug too?"

Spike blew a close flame to the workhorse's cheek. Macintosh jumped back a bit, but regained composure.

"C'mon now, ya know ah'm only kiddin." He calmed his friend as they continued through the snow. The horse slowed his pace, eventually coming to a complete stop. He turned his head over to the left. Spike did the same, both gazing at what would normally been seen as an inconspicuous bush… Macintosh approached the scrub and brushed aside some of the twigs and leaves to reveal a dial-pad. The stallion typed in a four digit combination into the piece of technology, receiving two beeps in response, followed by the sounds of machines cranking levers and turning gears. The two took a few steps back and shifted their eyes to a certain patch of snow covered ground. Seconds later they saw a circle of snow descend, and a jacuzzi rose in its place. The hot water steamed the icy air, inviting anypony who laid their eyes upon it.

The red giant removed his harness and satchel as he walked into the hot-tub with much leisure, slowly submerging each calloused hoof, then the rest of his muscular build. He closed his eyes as his torso made contact with the heated water, but opened to check on a missing friend.

"Ain't ya comin' in? Water's fine."

"Yeah just…" the dragon grunted, "hold on… c'mon…!" He was struggling to remove the excessive amount of clothing; two pairs of gloves made it nearly impossible. Macintosh simply rolled his eyes and threw his arms over the rim as he gave in to the temperature. He had no trouble waiting for his friend to join him. After a minute or so, Spike managed to unclothe himself and slowly enter the enticing warmth. Spike felt his limbs loosen as he dipped in. Similar to Macintosh, his body became completely lethargic within half a minute. Spike rolled his head up to the clouds, stretching his neck muscles.

"This is the life!"

"Eeyup."

"Have you told Applejack about the jacuzzi yet?"

"Nope."

"Are you?"

"Nope. If she knew ah cut inta them supply funds, she'd skin mah hide at best."

"I say you made a good call getting this. I should get me one of these babies. Yeah! I'd install it right on the second floor!"

"Ya'd put a hot-tub inside a tree?"

"What? It could work!"

Macintosh shook his head and dismissed the discussion. Another minute passed in silence. They relished all the ecstasy provided. A little more time passed until the colt opened his eyes in sudden realization.

"Oh, ah almost fergot!" The red farmhorse reached for his rather large bag and pull out a six pack of beer. He snapped two off and handed one to Spike.

"Thanks," the dragon took his can, "I'm getting sick and tired of 'drinking milk so I can grow strong and healthy!'" he poorly mimicked his guardian.

"Haven't ya told her how ya feel bout bein' treated as such?"

"Yeah but she just tells me how I'm still a baby and I have to be older to do certain things and stuff like that… spare me the lecture. Heck, I better I can hold my liquor better than she can!" The dragon sipped the bitter liquid.

"Eeyup."

A few seconds of silence filled the air until Spike brought words to life. "So, what's been happening with you this last week? More farm work?"

Macintosh took a sip of his beer, "Well, there's always more farm work ta be done. But ah'm a tell ya what's been at mah hide all month. Granny Smith. She's kind n all but she keeps at me with this grand idea of marriage n such."

"Well… you aren't getting any younger. Maybe you can marry her! HAHAHA!" Spike took his turn at mocking the larger figure. Macintosh's look was one between his normal demeanor and a glare. "Haha…heh..hmm… right, hehe… so what's stopping you?"

"Dunno. Don't reckon ah've found the right filly."

"The right fil- are you kidding me?" Macintosh raised a brow at Spike's sudden reaction. "Do you know how many mares there are in ponyville? The population of girls is like ninety percent of all ponies! That's like, a nine to one ratio! How can you not find the right filly? You can marry nine of them at the same time-"

"Spike," the giant stopped him, "Quality over quantity."

"Er…right… well, you know who the hottest mare in town is? Rarity. You know that unicorn that works at the carousel boutique? *Whistles* Smokin'!"

"Can't say ah've met her before. But…"

"But what?"

"Ah do have a certain interest on a Ms. Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps we could be brother-in-laws. Perhaps ya'd be an uncle too." He smiled behind his alcohol.

Spike stared at him for a moment. "You are disgusting."

Big Macintosh laughed at his joke. "Hahaha… ah knew that'd get ta ya!"

"Hand me another beer." Spike crinkled his empty can as his other hand was served…

/

The jacuzzi was not only home to the dragon and the stallion, but now home to several floating cans and a few empty whiskey bottles. The night was not young, but still alive. Nevertheless, the two friends found time limitless as they conversed with much emotion.

"…so then I said, 'Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. So we put a car in your car so you can drive while you drive!'"

Big Macintosh laughed hysterically; his eyes squeezed shut as they cried and his large hoof hitting the rim of the hot-tub. If he were seen by anypony else, it would have changed his image forever.

"…and he bought it!" Spike added to his previous statement, carelessly swinging a half bottle of whiskey, "So I was able to get back to Ponyville, save Rarity, and beat up the diamond dogs all before dinner!"

Calming himself, Macintosh focused back on Spike, "Ah see… hehe… but ah've got one question fer ya."

"What?"

"What's a car?"

Spike thought for a moment.

"I don't know."

"…ah'ma get me 'nother bottle-"

"Big Macintosh? Spike?" A small voice called their names.

Macintosh looked up and alert for the sound. "Did ya hear that?"

The dragon also began searching the snowy environment. "Yeah."

"Big Macintosh. Spike."

"There it is again!" Spike jumped a bit.

"Who's there? Ya'll ain't gettin none o mah booze ya hear!" He drunkenly defended, "Or mah jacuzzi! This here's mah pride n joy!"

"Big Macintosh! Spike!" the voice rang louder and angrier than before.

"Ah shoot! What should' we do?" Macintosh lost all his confidence.

"Wait!" Spike grabbed the farmhorse by the harness, "Maybe if we go under the water, it won't find us."

With that said, the two slowly dunked down, disregarding their liquors. They waited under for approximately thirty seconds before gradually surfacing to check for the outside horror.

"Is it clear?" Spike whispered.

"BIG MACINTOSH! SPIKE!" Three fillies jumped onto the rim of the hot-tub, staring at the drunken duo.

"Oh. Howedy crusaders, why ya'll the way out here? N why arent'cha in bed? It's late." Macintosh found relief in his voice.

"Yeah," Spike added "And how did you find us?"

"We we're lookin for Big Macintosh all 'round the acres until we heard someponies hollerin' n laughin', so we followed the sound… Big Macintosh, this ain't that jacuzzi Applejack told not ta buy now is it?" The young farm pony questioned her brother.

"N-nah o course not. Th-this ain't mine. It's –uh- Spike's! Ah'ma just borrowin it, eeyup."

"Really? It's mine?" Spike fell for the lie.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, however, did not.

"Then why did you say it was your jacuzzi earlier?" Sweetie Belle called him out. The workhorse was to respond until Applebloom leaned her forehead against his.

"Guess what?"

Macintosh gulped. "W-what?"

She smiled wickedly, "Ah'm tellin'."

The larger figure almost stopped breathing. "No."

"Yes."

"N-no."

"Eeyup!" Applebloom mimicked her brother as she jumped from the rim, "C'mon crusaders, let's-"

"Wait!" Macintosh stopped her, "Let's be civil 'bout this… what's it gonna take ta make ya ferget bout this situation. Twenty bits?"

Applebloom turned around the bounced back up on the rim next to her friends who were now evilly grinning, "Do ya know what whine is?"

"Wine?" he quizzically repeated, "…eeyup…"

"We need some."

"What in tarnation would ya need wine fer?"

"Because I need to become light-weight!" Scootaloo jumped.

"Yeah! And I need to become dumb!" Sweetie Belled unconsciously added.

Macintosh looked to Spike, then to the crusaders, then blinked. "Are ya sayin ya want me ta give ya wine or else yer gonna blackmail me?"

"Eeyup!"

"Uh, well ah can't give ya-" The red giant spoke until a purple hand covered his mouth.

"Will you three let us talk about this for a sec?" Spike stated more than asked as he pulled over Macintosh to the other corner of the hot-tub.

"What are ya doin'?"

"Listen, I got an idea!" Spike drunkenly whispered.

"Aright ah'm listenin."

"Okay, so all you gotta do is give them one of whiskey bottles-"

"Ya that far off already? Ain't no way ah'm givin' booze ta fillies."

"Look, I know it sounds stupid, but just hear me out. Just give them a bottle. They aren't actually gonna drink it because they'll say it tastes bad, right? Maybe a sip, but not half a bottle! So they will throw it away and you still get to keep your jacuzzi. It's sheer genius!"

The red figure remained silent. "Ah don't like this idea… ah'm drunk, but ah ain't stupid…"

"But…?" Spike pointed to the jacuzzi.

Macintosh peered down to the aqua-friendly machine, admiring all of its glory.

It was a nice jacuzzi.

"…but ah'll do it." He reluctantly forced out. And with that, Macintosh and Spike reproached the crusaders. "Alright… ah'll let ya have some."

Applebloom excitedly jigged in victory, whereas Scootaloo frowned the drunken friends. "Some? We need all of your whine! How else am I going to fly like Rainbow Dash?"

Macintosh glanced over at Spike once again for assistance. He only shrugged. The workhorse slowly sank into the water.

"Fine. It's all in mah bag down there." He pointed to the large satchel below. The crusaders quickly went to work, dragging the bag of liquor across the snow. Within a minute, Spike and Macintosh could no longer see the ponies. They sighed and sunk further into the jacuzzi.

"Stupid fillies… takin' all o' mah booze…"

/

The Cutie Mark Crusaders met up at the Crusaders Headquarters (treehouse) to count their loot and plan their next step.

"Seven." Scootaloo finished, "Seven bottles of whine. Although I'm not sure why it says whiskey… 'drink responsibly?' How do you do that…?"

"Alright! We got everythin' we need." Applebloom walked around her friends, "Now, all we hafta do is wait."

Scootaloo fixed her gaze to the farm filly. "Why? Why can't we just drink it all right now? I wanna get my flying-cutie mark!"

"These drinks here are fer the show n' tell tomorra! We can't drink all of them now. We gotta chug some of it down right before the show n' tell starts. That way, we can show 'em the whine and get our cutie marks at the same time!"

The orange pegasus sighed, "Oh fine…" she then viewed to the white unicorn, "are you ready for your cutie mark Sweetie Belle?"

"Yes, but…" She trailed off.

"But what?"

"But Rarity told me-"

"Don't worry about what your sister told you." The small daredevil smirked, "This is going to work."

/

The following day revealed a classroom filled amongst students and family members. Cheerilee was honestly not expecting many guests to arrive for the show and tell, but there they were, anxiously awaiting the show to begin. It gave a similar feel to the Ponyville school talent show held a few months back, and for that reason, Cheerilee had the students gather behind a last-minute installed curtain at the front of the classroom while all others sat or stood elsewhere.

Within the audience was an impatient Rarity next to an ill Applejack. "My goodness, what is the delay for? The show should have begun by now. Do you not agree Applejack?"

"Ah'm sure it'll start any minute now." The orange pony replied.

"Oh Applejack you should not have come all this way in the condition you are in. It is still quite chilly outside."

"Ah wouldn't miss my little sister's show n' tell fer the world. Right Big Macintosh?" She looked over to her other side.

"Eeyup."

To Macintosh's opposite side sat Spike and Twilight Sparkle, bored and thrilled respectively. "Why am I here again?"

"Because," The purple unicorn began "watching shows like these always excite me. There's always something new and interesting."

"No, no, no. Why am _I_ here? This is boring."

"Well I can't trust you after come back home so late last night. You were gone for four and a half hours!"

Spike rolled his eyes, "Might as well get me a freakin' leash…"

Meanwhile behind the large curtain stood twenty fillies and colts, all fighting mix feelings of eagerness and nervousness. Each and every pony had some item in their hooves, except for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who held tight onto a bag full of whiskey.

"I say we drink it now, before it's too late!" Scootaloo impatiently jumped up and down.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other before replying. "Alright, but yer gonna have the first one."

"Heh, no problem." She hastily unscrewed the top and drew the bottle to her lips. The pegusus took a sharp gulp and revealed a disgusted face. "EW GROSS!"

Applebloom frowned, "A small sip ain't gonna be enough! Ya hafta drink more if ya want yer cutie mark!"

Scootaloo looked down and sigh. She then consumed several more swallows before detaching herself from the bottle. "Oh..oh, that's enough for me…for now…" her eyes watered and her throat burned. The bottle was handed to Applebloom, but then was quickly stolen by another filly who laughed at her victim.

"Well, well, well. What do the Cutie Mark Failures have here?" Diamond Tiara looked at the bottle in her hoof.

"Give it back!" Sweetie Belle cried.

"Is this your thing for show and tell? You might as well not go up."

"Knock it off n give it back ta us."

"Or else what?" the bully intimidated back, "Are you going to cry?" She then sipped the sour liquor, only to quickly pull the glass away from herself while coughing and squinting.

"EWW! What is this bitter garbage?"

"It's called whine, and it makes you fly!" Scootaloo sauntered mildly toward the spoiled earth pony. Her subconscious smiled bother the thief.

"No it does not."

"Yes it doooeees. Even the teacher told meee." The pegasus lied behind her sudden carefree demeanor.

"R-really? Could I become a pegasus?"

"Duh! But you gotta drink a lot of it!"

Diamond Tiara was not usually one to fall for pranks or jokes, but she couldn't help think of being a pegasus, at least for a day. "You better not be lying." She threated as she tightly shut her eyes and chugged the amber liquid. After ten seconds of alcohol consumption, she broke from the whiskey in pure disgust and turned around, "Silver Spoon, come here quick. The Cutie Mark Dorks say we can fly!"

A grey filly quickly cantered over, "Fly?"

"Yes fly! Now drink some of this and tell me if you feel any different."

Scootaloo averted her sight from the bullies and pulled two more bottles from the bag, handing each to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. "Share with everypony else! Haha!"

It was then she began to hand out each and every bottle for each and every pony to drink…

/

"…and without further ado, I present to you, my favorite class! C'mon out and show us your stuff!" Cheerilee excitedly closed her introduction as an applause sounded the room. On cue, came out twenty little drunk ponies, all bumping into each other, giggling and laughing. The applause instantly died out as eyes went wide and gasps were heard at the sight of near empty bottles of whiskey. More importantly the bottles were in the hooves of young fillies and colts, swaying aimlessly. The children however, continued to giggle and tease, expect for Twist, who puked.

"W..w…w-wha…?" the teacher froze in complete shock and embarrassment.

The rest of the room gaped in silence. All except Spike. "So Twilight… you find this interesting? I honesty gotta say that's kinda weird."

The dragon quickly received an elbow to the side.

"W…what is going on here? Class!" the teacher flared her students who mostly snickered in response. "Well?" She grabbed a bottle from the drunken group. "Where did you get this from? Answer me!"

It was then Scootaloo took charged of her class body and approached Cheerilee, "We got it from Big Macintosh! Isn't he the greeeeeeaaaaatest?"

Macintosh felt his bowels slightly release as everypony turned to him.

"And- and Spike too!" Sweetie Belle drunkenly cheered on. "Go Spike! Woohoo!"

Spike shrunk in his seat as now everypony stared him down, especially a fuming Twilight Sparkle.

"And we got it all at mah big brother's jaccuzi! Ah love ya big brotherrr!" Applebloom bounced amongst her classmates. Seconds after, she projected vomit all over the front audience, and as if it had begun a chain reaction, all her classmates did the exact same thing. Within seconds, the entire front row was coated in regurgitated alcohol, causing ponies to slip and slide. All the fillies and colts and passed out minutes after.

Applejack steamed anger as she pressed her head against Macintosh's.

"N-now let's all be civil 'bout this… eeyup?"

/

Everypony giggled and snickered at him. He pretended not to hear the "Aww he's so cute!" and "Haha, I wish I had one."

Twilight simply acted on such remarks as if it was nothing. She gave a tug on the fireproof leash whenever he lagged behind too far. She would even tell him to sit and stay and do tricks…and walk on all four of his legs!

The purple unicorn reached Sugarcube Corner and tightly hitched Spike to a nearby pole. "Now just you stay there my little baby dragon!" She squeezed his cheeks before going inside.

The purple dragon gave a long sigh. "Should've gone to those AA meetings… I wonder how Big Mac is doing…"

/

Fluttershy calmly cantered along the dirt road, innocently humming to herself as she approached Sweet Apple Acres. She always loved coming over for lunch at the Apple's family. Along the way she saw a red workhorse on the fields. She delicately smiled and advanced forward.

"Hello Big Macintosh, how are you today?"

The red horse looked at her, and spoke with a rather lighter voice, "Everypony knows that ain't mah name no more…"

"Oh! Right." Fluttershy hid a giggle, "I meant, how are you today, _Big Mackenzie_."

The red mare gave a long sigh. "They should've just killed me… ah wonder how Spike is doin'…"

**/**

**Poor Mac, I think I went too hard on him(*wink wink*). Anyways I hope you guys liked it! But before you guys go, I have a question that's been bugging me for a while now. How old do you think the ponies are? I've heard so many different answers, it's all very confusing. Even if you don't know, just give it a good guess. Otherwise, thanks for reading. I'll put more stories up soon.**


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